Forget about JFK, Princess Diana and the Apollo moon landings. Forget about 9/11, the Illuminati, and the New World Order. And don’t even think about dragging aliens, shape-shifting reptiles, or long-dead Sumerian gods into this. If it’s a titillating hit of myth, conspiracy and disinformation you are craving, then look no further than ancient Egypt.
The most fascinating thing about ancient Egypt is not the exquisite Egyptian temples, the mysterious Egyptian Pharaohs, or even the colourful Egyptian gods and goddesses. The really fascinating thing is that thousands of years after the death of this ancient civilization, in an age of supposedly rational materialism, the legacy of the ancient Egyptians can still provoke so much controversy and conspiracy.
And now for the myths and conspiracies:
The most outstanding example is, of course, the Giza Pyramids. Despite literally tons of archaeological evidence and research, it would appear we are still not really sure how the Giza Pyramids were built, why they were built, or even who built them! Here are some of the Indiana Jones-style fringe theories put forward by the so-called “Pyramidiots”.
- The Giza Pyramids were not built using a deceptively simple yet sophisticated system of ramps, levers and pulleys. These Egyptian pyramids were instead built using some sort of long-lost sound technology, that allowed the ancient Egyptians to levitate the huge blocks of stone, and float them in to place. Whether this was achieved by groups of highly focused priests chanting at arcane frequencies, by setting up pathways of vibrating fields, or simply through the judicious use of a magic wand, remains a hotly debated topic. My personal theory is that the ancient Egyptians were thirty-foot tall giants with multiple arms, who enjoyed playing with stone Lego. Keep reading for the rest of the myths and conspiracies!
- The Pyramids of Giza were not built as tombs. If they had been, then despite the passage of more than 4000 years, every single one of them would have been found with an intact Egyptian pharaoh’s mummy inside. Since this is not the case, the Egyptian pyramids must have served as one or more of the following: astronomical observatories, centres of mystery cult initiation, repositories of the secrets of sacred geometry, sources of arcane energy, or perhaps guidance beacons for alien spaceships. It has even been suggested that the Great Pyramid is actually a scale model of the Northern hemisphere, projected on to a pyramid form. Cut your losses, Google Earth, you are way behind on this one!
- The Giza Pyramids were not built by Egyptians at all. They were actually built by a long dead civilization of which no shred of archaeological evidence remains – possibly the Atlanteans. If not them, then the Egyptian pyramids must have been built by aliens. That a race of extra-terrestrial bricklayers would travel half way across the universe, land in the middle of a desert, and build a series of giant stone Toblerones, makes perfect intuitive sense. The only real question here is why they then decided to bugger off. Or did they …?
Finally, no account of the mysteries of the Giza Plateau would be complete without mentioning the Great Sphinx. Some Egyptologists claim, backed by (admittedly disputable) geological weathering evidence, that the Great Sphinx is actually thousands of years older than is conventionally believed. More importantly, there are persistent rumours of a secret “Hall of Records” buried under the Sphinx’s front paws. This hidden chamber may contain the secret of the ancient Egyptians’ arcane science, or a record of lost civilizations, or the Ark of the Covenant. Given that this is archaeology we are talking about, it seems more likely to me that any such chamber would simply contain a few grains of dirty sand, and a bewildering array of broken pottery! But then I am not privy to the occult knowledge that Edgar Cayce had, when he predicted the existence of this chamber back in the first half of the 20th Century.
I could go on listing the conspiracies and controversies surrounding ancient Egypt, but therein lies the road to madness. The bottom line is that we will never know the truth of what happened so far back in the distant past. The only hard facts are the presence of the stones themselves: come marvel at these mysterious ancient Egyptian monuments, and invent your own narrative.
Do you have any theories of your own? We’d love to hear them – go ahead and leave some comments and help keep the myths and conspiracies alive!