Welcome to the greatest candy-holiday of the year.
Not everyone thinks so. “What about Halloween?” my little sister says. “That candy is free.”
Nay. That candy comes at a price (a cold night on your feet, hauling a heavy pillowcase around, wearing synthetic fabrics that do NOT insulate and/or a mask that smells like cat vomit).
Nope. Christmas is for baked goods. Not all of which are worth putting in your mouth (hello, my grandmother’s walnut-filled brownies).
But Easter…Easter is the season of caramel-filled eggs, giant chocolate rabbits, toblerones and Peeps (I don’t actually enjoy eating these, but I derive great satisfaction from exploding them in my microwave. Yes, I am a college graduate).
People all over the world, and especially the United States, celebrate this Sunday with the bizarre-but-glorious tradition of searching for eggs, candy, and fantastic combinations of the two. Those of you in search of a good egg hunt should check out the Washington DC Easter Egg Roll, the New York Central Park Easter Eggstravaganza or some mountain-top egg searches in Lake Tahoe.
“But where does gear come in?”
Gear comes into play here because everyone knows the right equipment can give you an edge.
If you’re anything like me, competition gets your adrenaline pumping, your mind racing, your mouth watering. And you start looking at your 6 year-old cousin not as an amusing little human who can fit inside a suitcase, but as a rival. As someone who might find more candy than you.
And that simply will not do.
Side note: some of you may be worried about stealing the glory (and the candy) from the children who are participating in the hunt with you. Don’t be. You’re showing them how real men and women accomplish things.
Read on for my list of Easter Gear must-haves.
First item you need to win Easter: Binoculars
Scope out the hunting grounds ahead of time. This isn’t cheating, it’s preparing. I suggest “preparing” from an attic window or tree.
Second item: A basket
Adirondack-style backpack baskets allow for hands-free egg gathering. Plus, they can hold a LOT of chocolate. Worth it? Yes.
Third item: A trained bloodhound.
Teach your bloodhound to trail the Easter Bunny, not people. Although if he gets confused on the day of the hunt and trees the rest of the kids, you’re still in fine shape.
Fourth item: Robot Claw Hand
Because that Easter Bunny can be a tricky devil. For grabbing eggs that have been placed high in the tree branches, under bushes…or that your little brother is reaching for. Tip from my fellow Gear Junkie, Tyler: put rubber bands around the claws for a no-slip grip.
Did we leave any Easter-gear off the list? Have any egg-hunting tips or insight? Leave a comment and let us know.
Bunny photo by Yogi / Creative Commons.
Child photo by bethography - meltingmama / Creative Commons.
Fence photo by StephenGilmer / Creative Commons.