We at NileGuide don’t condone shoplifting or breaking the law, but one of these days you just might find yourself needing to flee a scene. Maybe you’re being chased by an angry mob, or anxious peddlers are pushing their wares at you – maybe you slept with the farmer’s daughter, who knows.
But if you use one of these tried and tested methods from other runaways, you might not get very far.
1. Motorized Cart - A lady weighing 400 pounds tried to escape with a few goods from a department store when her motorized cart became stuck in the doorway. We’re not kidding, we can’t make that stuff up.
Jerrie Perkins tried to steal $600 worth of electronics before leaving a Meijer store in Rochester Hills. When questioned about her receipts, she tried to punch an officer in the face. Good life decisions all around, Ms. 400-lbs Perkins.
2. A Scooter – Remember that dude cruising down the highway on his scooter in Connecticut? Nobody has a clue what he was running from, and presumably he made it safely to wherever he was going, but maybe not a safe plan – especially with transport trucks whizzing by at 70 mph on a busy interstate.
3. Van and Trailer – Seriously, before you make a getaway, make sure the vehicle isn’t attached to anything. Like a freaking trailer. You can’t efficiently flee from a scene with a heavy tail swinging you across the road. Reconsider.
4. A Tricycle - After assaulting a lady at her home in Vancouver and stealing several of her valuables, a 36-year old man tried to escape on a reclining black tricycle. This might be a little sturdier than your average 6-year old kid’s bike, but seriously? Why not just run on foot? Surely a man running down the street is less conspicuous than one furiously riding a tricycle. Think about it.