Meat Lover on a Business Trip…Well Done

Gear Guide — By Tyler Renaghan on May 14, 2009 at 11:16 am

Meet Bob.  Bob loves bacon.  Heck, Bob loves all meat.  In fact, there are few parts of Bob’s day that don’t involve something fried, meaty and delicious.  Recently, Bob had to travel to Paris for an important business meeting.

6:00am – Bob wakes to the sound, and smell, of his Wake N’ Bacon Alarm Clock.

6:15am – Bob hops into the shower and lathers up with Bacon Soap.  Singing, “Hamburger in Paradise” while he showers is a ritual.  Fido his dog sits outside the bathroom door drooling.

6:45am – Breakfast: Bob whips up a veggie omelet…Kidding!  Bob’s running late, so he grabs some left over Bacon Explosion from last nights barbecue to scarf in the car.

Never leave home without it

7:30am – Bob makes it to the airline gate.  He realizes he doesn’t have his ticket!  Searching frantically through his Bacon Wallet, he remembers it’s the 21st century and he has an E-ticket.  He breathes a 12oz sigh of relief.

Thanks American Pyscho

Mid-Flight – Bob sits next to a nice looking business man, they get to chatting and decide to exchange business cards.  This guy must be even more of a meat lover than Bob.  He hands Bob his card:  [looking at the Business Man’s business card] “Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark”  Bob NEEDS his business cards to look like this.

6:00pm – As Bob’s exiting the plane, he realizes he forgot his suitcase in the overhead storage bin!  He runs back to get it just in time…the flight attendants nearly cooked it and served it for the next in-flight meal.



9:30pm – Bob finishes his ‘Steaks’ and Shareholders meeting, changes out of his suit into his favorite t-shirt and heads to the Boeuf Couronne for a ‘rare’ feast.

11:00pm – Bob goes to bed looking forward to tomorrow’s meat-packed day of exploring.

BONUS: To see this post with a side of bacon, click here.

photos courtesy of mentioned websites
Tags: bacon, beef jerky business card, gear junkie, meat, meat suitcase, NileGuide


  • Alexi says:

    In fact, if you want to see ALL of your browsers with a side of bacon (and who wouldn’t) check out (All you need to do is add to the beginning of any web address. So brilliant.)

    Maybe we should end the blog’s Meat Lover’s week with bacon-and-chocolate-chip cookies.

  • Porcine says:

    This sounds more like a script for Saturday Night Live. And if you don’t think the pork industry is having enough troubles with misconceptions about the swine flu; this heart disease with a handle piece should just about do them in…..nice.

  • Tyler says:

    Hi Porcine, thanks for the vote of confidence in thinking this would work on SNL. I apologize if I’ve offended you or the pork industry in any way…I intentionally did not mention the swine flu precisely for these unfortunate misconceptions. As Gear Junkies, we come across quite a few amazing and sometimes ridiculous bits of travel gear (the meat suitcase, bacon wallet…). If anything, I wanted to show how much people love their meat and that at times, bacon & meat lovers are so enthusiastic that they’ll take it to the next level and make everyday things out of meat. Next week’s theme is Veggie Lovers…be sure to come back for less meaty but still delicious blog posts.


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