Good Product, Bad Name: Apple’s iPad and Other Unfortunately Named Products
Gear Guide — By Alexi Ueltzen on January 28, 2010 at 3:42 pmThe iPad
What is Apple going to do in a few years when it decides to launch its line of personalized, high-tech feminine hygiene products? “iTampon” just doesn’t have the same ring. Steve Jobs must be regretting the name for this maxi-sized kindle-meets-iPhone product. Not a bad idea for a travel accessory either, especially if you’re visiting Aunt Flo. I know how boring she can be.
Woolly Willy
The name implies a hairy appendage of a different sort, but Willy is, in fact, a bald, middle aged lush (judging by the broken blood vessels that make his nose so red) whose magnetic smiling face has entertained travelers since 1955. Is there a better way to wile away the hours on a plane or in a car than designing hair-dos and mustaches for the cheerful, red-nosed Willy? Well…probably.
The “Moist Maker”
Of Friends sitcom fame, the Moist Maker is *ahem* a sandwich made of Thanksgiving leftovers that includes, in the center, a slice of gravy-soaked bread. My recommendation: take one on your next flight. Everyone else with be stuck with half a soda, a small bag of stale whatever-the-airline-happens-to-stock and pangs of jealousy when you whip out this glory of a sandwich. Bury your face in that moist, delicious meal and don’t be afraid to make slurping noises – it’s more fun that way.
The iPOOd
Surprisingly not an iPhone app, the iPOOd is a collapsible shovel for backpackers. Its intended use is exactly what you think it’s for. Since the name is so fitting, it probably doesn’t really belong on this list, but I couldn’t resist. It is also the only product on this list that I actually own. Mine is green.
Vibram FiveFingers
To date, approximately 597,194 women have clicked on a link to this product only to be disappointed when it turns out to be a pair of gecko-like shoes. Why “Vibram”? It’s the name of the company that designed them. Why “five fingers”? Each toe has its own sleeve-like pocket, making the shoes more like gloves than normal, conventional footwear. Why buy them? From the product description: “Choose from a variety of designs to cover the wide range of activities you would rather do barefoot” …and all that implies.
Diarrhea Bear
We don’t actually know what Diarrhea Bear does…but the journey is only beginning. Throw some Diarrhea Bear into your suitcase for your next trip. Seriously. I don’t know when it will come in handy, but you’ll be glad you packed it.
I think.
Nellie’s Dryer Balls
Designed to improve the average dryer cycle by drying clothes faster and reducing wrinkles (and therefore ironing), the product itself isn’t half bad. The name, however, is.
Do you have another innuendo-laden product name? Please, please let me know. My little sister’s birthday is coming up.
[photos: Network Osaka; MonkeySimon; justj0000lie; comicbookmovie; nDevilTV]
9 Comments
Woolly Willy is a great product with a great name! I just purchased one for my girlfriend since he, well, resembles me. I support Woolly Willy and will not stand idly by while you besmirch his good name.
On Willy’s behalf, I demand a retraction and a pubic apology.
I guess the title of this post is misleading. It should read “Good product, Innuendo-y name,” but that just doesn’t have the same ring. “Hairy Harry” wouldn’t have made the list anyways.
I hope your girlfriend has fun playing with Willy.
Steve Job’s new innovation will eventually blow up after the first over-hype time during it’s unveiling. The lack of keyboard and Apple’s potential to fix some problems will begin to make the iTablet a success in time.
Yes, iPad is a bit odd. The only thing I can figure is that maybe Apple thought that IBM used “Thinkpad” and never had any problems, such that “iPad” must also be ok.
Definitely interesting, though, as Apple is (in my opinion) the best managed brand in Silicon Valley. Will be interesting to see if the jokes linger or fade away….
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im loving the ipad personally. what do you think of it now? was it upto your standards?
The iPad has a high-quality and it is useful but too expensive. Similar products are cheaper and have more or less the same functionality. But the iPad is a product of apple which is a little bit better and so I think it’s for every fan a must have product.